Thursday, May 28, 2009

It's time ...

5/28/90 Today's the day. And as chaotic and scattered as my conscious mind has been over the last few days, today I feel surprisingly calm. Whatever's gonna happen, I guess, will happen. I won't say that I'm okay with leaving, because I'm not. This is and always will represent home for me. I guess it's more accurate to say that I'm ready to leave the tension and the sadness behind me now, and move on to the next chapter. I love this house, I love that it protected my family from snow and rain and hurricanes, and that it provided a place for me to grow and learn and love. Thank you.

The movers will be here soon to disassemble my life and put it back together somewhere else. It'll take a while for that place to become home; hopefully not too awfully long. When I went for the final walk-through the other day, I sat in the driveway waiting for the others to show up and I noticed that the only thing I could hear was birds singing. It felt peaceful. So that's a good sign.

My daughter and son-in-law are on their way to supervise the movers while I'm at the closing. This will not be easy for them either. My parents were a big part of both their lives, and this house represents that to them.

Update 6/1/09 The movers came right in the middle of writing this post, and I haven't had internet access since. Just got it back today.

I like the house, and I think in time, I'll love it. I don't know it yet, don't know its personality or its quirks. And I don't know if any spirits are here other than those I brought with me. The man I purchased it from told me his wife died the month before my mom. Her name was Frances. I don't know if she's here or not, keeping watch over her home. Sometimes I think I can feel her, like right now, there's a voice in my head saying "Yes, I'm here." If so, I welcome her to visit anytime. Perhaps she can help me to get to know this house.

There's more to say, but I'm tired and I have to go back to work tomorrow. So, until later my friends ...

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